After watching this new Nick Nolte movie eight times I'm still not sure whether I like it. There are a number of goofs -- or what are technically called bloopers. With a watchful eye, and the help of some research, I've picked out some of the most egregious ones.
* At the beginning, Nick Nolte, in the role of Bob, a heroin addict and compulsive gambler, has just shot up some drugs when he happens upon a violent, dramatic scene where an illegal immigrant has turned the tables on a cop and is holding a gun to his head. Bob translates what the irate Algerian hostage taker is saying in Arabic as "I have nothing to lose, I am going to count to three and shoot this man!" However, what the young Algerian actually says is "Nick Nolte dyes his hair like a cheap whore!"
* In desperate need of cash, Bob sells a painting which he purports to be a Picasso original to Ralph Fiennes, playing a fence. Later, the Fiennes character gets very angry when he finds out the Picasso is a forgery, and slices up the canvas. However, in fact, the Picasso used in the film was genuine, and Fiennes destroyed an irreplaceable work of art.
* When he is undergoing withdrawal from heroin, a/k/a "cold turkey," Nick Nolte makes vomiting sounds, but you never actually see the vomit.
* When Bob goes to the racetrack and bets 50,000 francs on a horse, and then the horse loses, he rips up his ticket right after the end of the race. In real life, there might have been a stewards' inquiry into the race, so if there had been some kind of do-over, he would have actually won. So, it was stupid to tear up the tickets.
* Also, when the horse tramples Bob's nemesis Remi at the racetrack, you never actually see its hooves lacerating his face or nearly crushing his skull so that his brains spill onto the pavement.
* When Bob and Paolo drive to Monte Carlo from Nice, through the car windows you can see Jimmy's Sporting Goods on River Avenue in Hackensack, N.J., as well as the nearby Village Pizza on Bainbridge Street. But Jimmy's hasn't been in business for over 15 years!
* Although Anne, played by Nutsa Kukhianidze, is supposed to be a prostitute, you never actually see her either having sex or taking money.
* Right before the scene when the giant, amorous aliens snap the Eiffel Tower off its base and use it as a dildo, Bob, played by Nick Nolte, is shown picking his nose with the forefinger of his right hand. A second later, he's showing eating the booger off the thumb of his left hand. I seriously doubt a character as world-weary as Nolte's would need to pull off a surreptitious booger-transfer!
* When we first see Bob (Nick Nolte) walking through the door to a church, trying to throw off Roger the police detective (played by French actor Tcheky Charyo -- which happens to be Czech for "Shecky Greene" -- another blooper?), he is wearing a navy blazer and khaki pants. Inside the church, however, he is wearing nothing but a Speedo and a grey waistcoat.
* The beautiful Anne is supposed to be a regular woman, and in most of the scenes, she is. However, in the middle of the movie, "she" is shown brandishing a rather large penis -- her own!
* Not exactly a blooper, but when Bo and Luke from the Dukes of Hazzard drive by in the General Lee and start yelling at Bob, then throw paint on his car, I thought it was stupid.
* If you look carefully behind Nutsa Kukhianidze's rear end during the scene where she's dancing in the disco with the fink, you can see Jennifer Aniston making out with Madonna.
* During the climactic casino scene, several extras are visible in the background. One of them says to another in sign language, "this director is a complete asshole." Another nonverbally conveys the idea that the celebrated star of silent German film Emil Jannings had an underdeveloped penis.
* At the first table where Nolte - Bob starts gambling at the casino, he is playing Go Fish with an Oscar the Grouch deck of cards, although Go Fish hasn't been a casino game in Monte Carlo in over ninety years.
* During Bob's winning streak at the poker table, the dealer turns over his own straight, which inexplicably loses to Nolte/Bob's pair of sixes. As soon as he realizes something is wrong, the dealer hits himself on the head and says, "Merde, can we have une what do you call it, une re-take?" Nolte replies, "We're shooting a movie, you cocksucker, can't you just deal out the fucking deck like you're supposed to?"
* Nolte asks the casino manager to writes him a check, even though he hasn't got a bank account, and checks are illegal in France. Also, when the casino manager writes out the amount on the checkbook, although you can't see the paper, you can tell by the the way the pen is moving he is actually writing "COCK COCK DICK."
* At the end, when Nolte realizes that Anne is actually a French Canadian terrorist, and uses his shoe cannon to blow her head off, and then her bloody brains spatter against the bulkhead, and he says, "Sorry, babe, it was fun but I got a date with a couple o' friends o mine!" and then Bo and Luke show up with Boss Hogg in the back seat, her cerebral tissue appear to be gray. But freshly fragmented human brains are actually in fact yellow.