The most disappointing part of Tiger Woods' apology was when he insisted Ellin never whacked him with his golf club, as we all assumed -- thereby depriving posterity of an all-time comedic tableau. We skeptics may be forgiven our disbelief, however, particularly since under the circumstances -- an irate wife confronting her husband with evidence of unceasing adultery -- the only question his strange, self-righteous proclamation that "there has never been an episode of domestic violence in our marriage ever" seems designed to answer is, "When did your wife stop beating you?"
